Sunday, December 22, 2013

##1 mistake 2013 count down(feelings that comes with Singleness).

On the count down before the year end.
We only got 10 days before we kick in 2014...The question is what have i achieved in 2013?how far have i gone with 2013?
If i am to fill my basket or my travelling bag to 2014,what are the things that i would leave behind with 2013....Am going to share my top mistakes i made in 2013 and that made me learn in a hard way...

##1...Self Lie.....
It is a sunday morning and i woke to think of how my life has been especially in talking about my love life....well its none of anyone's business but still its shareable, i believe that there is someone out there who has a life like mine
2013 has been full of drama,have gone through all series of happenings one can go through, have liked, infatuated, imaginary dated,and have been an imaginary nun!!!lived a lie...yes a big talking about self lie...

Atleast my tittle has been "single" most of the time...and i would say that it has not been so easy...there have been those days when i wished there was someone steady who would take care of me, someone who would help me make decisions, someone to be funny with n etc...have felt lonely at times and never appreciated being single at times when am alone and managed to lie to others how happy i have been being alone.

I have spent  lot of time wishing for a future i am not even sure i really want yet.
Yes i have family members and friends who are happily married,have beautiful children, something i want for myself..yes because i am a human being and in my child bearing years..But certainly not right now....

When you are young, your life is consumed by school, your parents, friends, rules and most of us dont generally get to know ourselves until we are living independently.

When we are in our 20s, we fall into dating trap:we tend to rush to want to get into relationships when we are not emotionally and mentally ready for the kind of commitment they require.Then the next thing you know , you have spent the last 5 years of your life with someone you deeply love but you have not lived  life of meaningful independence..I mean here is that You have not enjoyed the freedom that comes with just being a human being with means to tackle the limitations of life on your own steam.
Looking at the bigger picture of life..

For now, the fact that I can:

pack my bag, head to the airport and 
just text my parents that I'll be back soon
Apply to go and study any where in the world without consulting anyone
 Have my space to myself
Cook with only me as the judge 
Make mistakes with only me as the biggest judge
Read and sleep with no interruptions
Comfort myself
Sing and dance with nobody watching
Be inspired to write by self inflicted pain
Be bored without expecting anyone else to entertain me
Be broke because I don't have other mouths to feed and no one to ask for help...

And a whole other bunch of reasons to enjoy being single and responsible for yourself only. 

I'm learning that my time and space are valuable things that I must enjoy now because I might not always have enough of either to myself...
Is this a selfish approach? Probably, but it's great.
I still look out the window sometimes at that other grass, but with new eyes, with a new sense of relief, more kindness towards myself and a very satisfying sense of ''I can look but I'm not required to touch''

It is all about attitude..
It is all about how you chose to look at things...
I think that all human beings want to feel like they have the freedom to pursue their desires, even if we aren't always going to do whatever it is we desire, but that freedom to be is what saves us from boredom and loneliness.
look foward for a happy 2014 in your own company..
For those in relationships, make sure you understand why you are in that relationship and the goal to be achieved.Be real...


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